Some numbers (it is about time!):
Current weight (as of Sun, July 29, 10am at the YMCA scale): 173 lbs
Ideal weight: 142 lbs.
We’ll see if I ever have the guts to actually post before/after photos. Once in college with my roommate Kathy we took “before” pics… if ONLY I could look that good now! (I think I weighed around 135bs then, and was running 3 miles several times a week).
Why 142? This is what I weighed at my wedding (9 years ago – eek!) – when I was in shape, felt and looked good. I certainly wasn’t super thin then and it probably would not hurt to lose even more than 30lbs, but the 140 lb range is a realistic goal. An important factor in all this would not only be losing weight, but also getting back into shape – having that weight be muscle and not fat. Is it true what they say about muscle weighing more than fat? In that case, I have a long way to go in order to lose these pounds AND get back in fighting form.
I’ve started hanging upside-down like a bat on a neighbor’s inversion table to help ease my back pain from the herniated discs; with any luck I’ll grow a few inches and these numbers will have to change. Haha.
And now, some more numbers from the Calorie counter that I’m not quite sure I understand, but here they are:
Target amount of daily calories: 1415 (I don’t recall how this was set, and I cannot figure out how to go in and change that number… not that I want to, just don’t understand what it is based on…. Michel/Lane, any ideas?)
BMI:27 (medium risk)
Looks like the desired BMI according to this calorie counter is 20. It says that if I want to get to 20, I need to lose 45.6lbs… which would mean losing roughly 15 more pounds than I’m currently shooting for, and which would mean a target weight of 127 as opposed to 142 lbs. So I guess this calorie counter thinks I was chubby when I got married…
Some final thoughts on numbers:
I can remember weighing 112lbs. It was around the very late 1970’s/early 80’s when I was perhaps 12 or 13. And then suddenly I was 115lbs and wanted to get back to 112. And before I knew it, I was 120 and I really wanted to get back to 112. And this was STILL while I was not even 15 or 16 years old! Crazy if you think about it. Looking back at the photos I was a tall, athletic, healthy girl with barely a trace of fat on me… but at the time, I FELT fat. I had a mom who was on the Scarsdale diet in those years. Her allergist in the late 1970’s was giving her speed to lose weight (very common in those days) and she would stay up to the wee hours cleaning the fridge, calling other friends who were also in the midst of late-night diet-prescribed-speed-induced cleaning binges. I remember she weighed somewhere in the 155 range and she was in her mid-50’s. Again, in the photos, she looks great, very pretty, nice and shapely, but not fat.
At the current moment I see that numbers are helping me. While the calorie counter is time-consuming to complete, it provides a fascinating window into my eating habits; face to face with the numbers -- with reality, my old justifications/excuses no longer hold up. But in the long run, I don’t want the numbers to matter, I really just want to feel well… I want to be in shape and be strong and healthy.
There was a tragic article in this past Sunday’s New York Times about a 35 yr old new mom with stage 4 cancer. There is almost nothing that strikes more fear in my heart than the thought of not being alive and healthy for my kids (especially while they are young and needy). Imagining this woman fighting for her life just to have a few more weeks, a few more months with her 1 year old puts things into perspective instantly.. I have the RESPONSIBILTY for myself and for my kids to take care of myself. Allowing this creeping weight gain and lack of exercise is to take for granted the immense luxury of being healthy (no diseases, all four limbs working well, the brain perhaps a bit less well but with more sleep there is hope). I’m squandering this luxury by not being as fit and in shape and healthy as I can possibly be. I’m sure if someone with cancer could give a message to someone healthy, it would be along the lines of appreciating every moment, not getting bogged down by the details, and taking advantage of the absence of disease to maintain good health by immersing oneself in a healthy lifestyle.
On that note, I should go to bed. For someone who thought she had nothing to say regarding the topic of weight loss, I’m incapable of ceasing my rambling!
By the way, yesterday and today I ate well, not great. Far better than in previous months, but not as good as Saturday, (the day when something finally clicked). I surpassed the target calories each day, but not by much, and managed to get in a good 45 minutes of heart-pumping freestyle swim. I also resisted temptation and did not snack, but the meals themselves were hard to trim down. Much like my two partners in this endeavor, Michel and Lane, the weekend BBQs presented numerous challenges (not the least of which is, how in the calorie counter can you ever manage to tally up a bite of this and a bite of that? The only way must be to not have those bites!)… Getting protein without a lot of fat will be my goal in the upcoming days.
I’ll weigh myself again next Sunday and we’ll see if my actions match my words.